Final Assignment Visual Synthesis

I enjoy this piece, though I think it would have benefited from even more repetition. The colors chosen are jarring, just as intended, but the real feeling of repetition until the point of apathy isn't quite there. I think that if you added more rows it may have felt more complete. Over all I think it is a very strong piece.

I didn't expect your final composition to turn out this way especially after seeing your initial ideas, but I say that in a good way. You've definitely achieved that surreal effect with the layering of your images. I'm not sure if this was intentional but the streaking in the bits of color you have also help to add to that layered/surreal look. Well done!

After the initial showing during class, I think that you made a lot of great improvements! Having that repetitiveness of the people on the phones and also having them in close proximity with each other definitely strikes a chord and makes me begin to wonder why there is no other interactions in the piece. Your choice of color I thought was also effective in the sense that the purplish pink makes me feel like this people are self absorbed. I definitely think that you moved in the right direction after your feedback

Your photos definitely translate the ethereal feeling of the song very well, and I really like your motion shots. The music is very energized overall, and I thought that blurred shots of the dancers were beneficial in achieving this effect. However, I wish that you played around with several different angles, The song is called "no light", so seeing some darker, dimly lit shots might have added some dynamicity to the series.

I think this piece has made huge progress since the initial drafts. Your color choice is very nice - the pink definitely feels calming and makes it seem like these people are complacent and ignorant of their actual surroundings. The faint glow of the screens was done well, and makes it much easier to see what is going on in the composition.

I think the strongest choice you made was to move the mass of people to the bottom right of the picture. It feels extremely different from the composition that is pushed against the top left corner, and gives off a sense of suffocation and discomfort.
I agree with your choice of taking out the two figures out in the back - for me it evokes even more discomfort, not being able to see anyone or anything that can stand against this technology takeover.

Good work!

I really like the "Unification" composition! Looks very Mordor-ish, haha. Although I believe you were right in the other piece to try to contrast the colors, since the music is a mix of angry/ominous beats and calmer, awe-inspiring sections, I think there's enough contrast in the bright red light/dark blue sky to account for that. There's also the tinge of blue in the clouds on the left. You could even add a few small blue-white stars in the clearer sections, which would also give it more depth and make it more grand.

I'm curious why the yellow light is almost off the page in the Separation piece. Was that intentional? How purposeful was your placing of the different lights spatially on the page? Would using the rule of thirds or a triangular shape be more or less effective than a seemingly "random" placement?

I also think your reference to fire temperatures interesting, since they go a bit against the common associations; blue is hotter than red or orange, despite being typically thought of as a "cooler" color. Perhaps that's fitting, though, since I'm not sure I can decide if the piece overall "heats up" or "cools down" over its course. Since it does both in different ways, depending on if you're considering the volume, tempo, or tone of vocals, that's actually a fairly apt metaphor. Great job!

I really like the outcome of your piece! I think that both the last and second to last version of your piece conveys the message of the song very well. The imbalance combined with the repeating texture of the people draws my eyes to the bottom right corner, which, at first, I wasn't entirely aware that the repeating objects were people, until I saw their legs, then I pieced the composition together. I can see that the repeated pattern could represent a constant, repeated daily action of being utterly consumed in our technology.

Haha, called it! I didn't predict actually connecting the white lines so that the pieces formed kind of steps upward, though, which is a cool effect and definitely conveys the progression through the piece. It actually kind of makes me think of the effort of the musicians in performing the entire piece without breaks--instead of a short pause in between, you just have to jump right up to the next stage.

I think if I had to do one thing differently, I would have used a golden tone for the brass, but maybe that's too literal/just my impression. And perhaps it wouldn't have fit the color scheme of the rest of the piece.

My favorite part of this is the "pink fluff" and "bubbles" in the third; the shapes and colors all match up quite well with the more gentle, playful feeling of that section. I also think the fluid texture of the line was a good choice over possibly something smoother because it evokes the vibration of a sound wave.

I'm sorry you feel the result wasn't effective, but I disagree! Just from what we saw in class and what you've kept here, it's clear you made a lot of progress even in the short time period, and the overall composition would definitely be something I could connect to the source material. Nice job!

The use of color and composition to create that uplifting feeling you were going for really improved in your final piece. Changing the lines in the background really helped it stop feeling chaotic all the way through, and really helped it be more of a progression and a gradient. I think that adding more of the lines and shape segments as you did allowed you more control over their positioning and their flow. the subtle shadows on the two top circles really do draw the eye upwards and keep it there. All in all, there was marked improvement which led to a fantastic piece that incorporated both the feedback we gave you and your own ideas.

I really like how you chose to put these photos together, I think this turned out really well. I'd like to hear a little more about the thought process behind the warmer colors, though. I don't really feel like they fit and would have stuck with cool colors, but I think this may be due to different interpretations of the progression of the song. I think this is nicely done, though.

I love this piece. I think the changes you've made are perfect and do a really great job at conveying the overall tone and lyrics of the song. I really like how you changed the movement of the squiggles in the background, so that it subtly shifts your eyes closer to the circle. I also think the shift in blue to yellow as the background gets closer to the circle is a really good choice. Additionally, I think the half circles and triangles under the platforms are a really nice touch, because it makes the platforms feel as though they are being pulled down.

However, it appears as those triangles under the platforms have the same weight as the shapes above them. I think if you made those triangles lighter, like you did with the half circles, it would make the piece seem stronger because it would help to convey the idea that something is trying to pull you down, but you're still being lifted up, back to "home."

But I love almost everything about this piece. I think you've done an incredible job representing "Fix You" and your composition really does reflect the soft and serious, but overall warm, feeling of the song.

This is a very well thought-out final outcome! I absolutely love how you tied the three images together with the pink accessories, creating a sense of unity and consistency. When I first looked at your composition, I noticed the repeated use of the pink color, and interpreted that you wanted to show a continuation of the relationship between the daughter and father throughout time. Your description matches my interpretation, which suggests that you successfully achieved your goal. The suit fading into darkness is very sentimental; I get the sense that the father is getting older and slowly fading away, and that makes me miss my own father. The frame you gave to the composition made the composition feel complete. The minimalist approach you took left no explicit facial expressions on the two main characters, which opened up a lot of interpretations for viewers.
I agree with you that the composition is perhaps not as warm as the song is. The blue gradient feels slightly distracting and disjointed from the rest of the composition. It would probably fit better if there are some hints at warm red in the background. Instead of a blue to black gradient, a purple gradient might also work, since it can also represent the time transition from day to sunset to late night.
Overall, I think this is a very successful composition!

Christina, I absolutely love the changes you made. The background is much clearer and blends in well with your shapes, and I love the soft edges of the "home" circles. They remind me of Kandinsky very much. Excellent job!

Wow, I think this piece looks amazing! I absolutely love your inclusion of the pink accessories on the daughter and how she continues to accumulate more as time goes on. The idea of the father fading into the background and the daughter losing her father, as well, is great. I think it definitely echoes the sentiment of the song. While I do understand why you think that maybe you should have made the background warm colors, rather than cool, I think the cool colors work better because they make the overall piece appear more calming and somber. I think a warm color like red or yellow would have made the piece seem too energetic, which wouldn't really reflect the original song. I also really like how the colors reflect the idea of time and how time moves from dawn to midnight as the daughter grows up. I think that analogy is really special and it would be hard to represent that if you went with warmer colors for the gradient.

One thing that you could have done to reflect the more intimate nature of the song would be to change the color of the accessories on the daughter and father. Even though pink falls into the warm colors, it is still rather cool. Something more overtly warm, like gold, might better reflect the love the father has for his daughter.

Also, I love how the daughter as a child and a women is wearing white/almost white; it definitely creates a stark contrast between the father and daughter and puts her in the spotlight, just as the father does in the song. But the daughter as a teenager seems to blend into the background a little bit, too, since she's wearing blues that are similar to the gradient. I think that changing the daughter's dress so that she was in light blues, rather deep blues, might have made her stand out more and made the idea of her being in the spotlight more consistent.

But overall, I think this is a really strong composition and it reflects the song you chose really well.

The transition from your preliminary outcome to the final piece is great; you definitely took into account the feedback you received both on the gallery and in class. Making the image larger vertically, creating almost a path of bubbles upward, and switching to a taller silhouette really add to the feeling of upward movement and hope. It also is interesting how you changed the tree to a balloon, and made it black instead, so that most of a viewer's attention is drawn to the circles. Finally, I love how you started the circles in the boy; like they are bubbling up from inside him to pull him and his little island upward. Great work!

I really liked your initial piece, and I am amazed that you were able to improve upon it so much! I think you did a really good job of changing the background and and enhancing the colors so that the impact was more uplifting and soft. I think the glow you added around the final circle really helps draw the readers eye up a crossed the piece, which helps create a sense of movement and progress. I think you did an excellent job of creating a piece for the song you chose, and I think they really match!

I like how you tied in the aspect of religion towards technology with the praying gestures. I remember discussing that during Friday's lab and I'm glad you managed to incorporate it in in such an simple, yet effective manner. It give the concept of silence and the whole devotion to technology issue much more clarity. Also, deciding to have an empty white space in the top left in the final piece was a good idea. Both that, and the fact that its positioning is symmetrical, (like Laura mentioned above) gives the piece a sense of instability and makes it more thought-provoking;

I found the differences between your initial work and your final work to be rather interesting. While your initial work is pretty interesting too, reading the previous comments, its flaws become more apparent. Your final piece, to me, is a nice example of how iterative design can improve a work. All in all, I think I agree with Amanda; you've incorporated feedback very well!

Moving onto your final piece, from my limited understanding, I quite liked it. It ends up doing exactly what you seem to want it to. Adding a glow around your largest circle was an ingenious move. Besides drawing a viewer's eyes upwards, it also ends up adding this interesting new vibe to your piece by being something that none of the other shapes are doing. I also liked your background colour choice. Fix You is one of my favourite songs, and in all honesty, the colours I associate with the song are exactly what you seem to have captured!

I really like how your photographs seem to blend together in the collage as opposed to being discreet pieces. That lends a sense of unity that, from my limited understanding, is difficult to achieve in a collage such as this. I also think your work goes well with the song. Sombre and contemplative, yet highly layered and complex. All in all, awesome work man! I'm curious as to who the person / people in your work are, and what his / their significance is. Could you shed some light on that?

Great work! This really looks like a visualization of the music itself. So i tried listening to the song while trying to sync my eye movement across the path with the song and it worked out pretty well. The path follows the intensity and rhythm of the song at most places. I like your extensive use of colors and how you paid a great amount of detail to each color with its respective role in the composition, so that you get the overall effect you desire. All of the colors used in the composition serve their intended purposes. You have a good idea of the different emotions that each of the color evokes and you arranged them appropriately. Just one point, you could have also gone with the colors red or white, to represent the romantic duet parts of the song. Red is usually a universal symbol for romance and white, at least in this movie symbolizes the color of clothes that Aladdin wears whenever he tries to impress Jasmine. Also, red and white would give a bit more contrast against the blue background, which would then add visual weight to whichever areas in which they were located. Still, this is just a thought. I think your current composition already looks superb and i'm just wandering how it would look with different colors.

One thing I really like about your concept is how you are not just trying to represent the song, but you are trying to depict that entire scene in the movie, by synchronizing the path with Carpets movements, and also the idea of adding blank space at the start and end to symbolize the conversation in the movie scene. Its a good idea, because the song is analogous with the movie and I feel that any visual composition representing that song should try to sync with the movie as well.

Overall, really good work, I could almost see this being a type of visualization implemented in media players, to depict a song.

"The black strip with no photographs is there to offset the balance and predictability in the composition. The lack of patterns for the colors is also to create a more spontaneous feeling to the artwork. I wanted to create tension by doing so; the composition itself should evoke a feeling of uneasiness. Drawing from Dondis reading, spontaneity is "an emotion-fraught technique," provoking the viewers."

I find this to be the most successful part of the piece. I immediately found myself staring at that part of the work when I first scrolled throughout it. I tried to make sense of the reason and ended up coming with a hypothesis which matches your intent! I feel that that's a good sign that your work has the intended effect on its viewers!

I enjoyed seeing the growth from the preliminary to final outcome. The breaking of boundaries was really creative and added to the uplifting sensation. The change in the boy's orientation emphasized the vertical aspect, which also helped. Turning the balloon dark also makes it much easier to follow the colorful circles with your eyes.

I was interested in your project when I saw some of your first iterations. I think you did a good job of responding to your feedback and making changes to convey what you wanted the audience to feel. I really like your end product, because it made me feel very uncomfortable. I felt with the unbalanced composition and not perfectly 45 degree line it was very unstable and concerning. This made me consider the problem the piece was presenting more fully, because I had such a strong reaction to it and wanted to know more about the piece.

I'm really glad you decided to create more than one image, because I think together they managed to convey a much deeper feeling about the song you selected. I really liked the changes you made, and felt like your explanations helped me to understand your thought process more.

I really enjoyed hearing you present your ideas on Friday, and I am very glad they turned out so well. I think your mixture of slow and fast shutter speeds created a really unique feeling in the pictures, and I think your concept was very well thought out in terms of the space you wanted to use and how you wanted to present the movement. I felt like the pictures also flowed together very well, and created a story that clearly match the feel of your chosen song. Overall I really liked it.

While I have no experience in critiquing visual art, I hope some of my comments may be helpful.
I think the less vibrant rainbow helped a lot in not distracting the viewer. However, I do think that it might be nice if instead of a rainbow with red orange yellow etc, you had your rainbow gradually transition to more complex colors that might be a little easier on the eyes. I really like your heartbeat monitor idea. I think the fetus actually holds a good level of opacity. Also, the black background is a nice touch as well in contrasting everything. I can see you did a lot of great work between your iterations!

I really like how your final product turned out. I'm a big fan of the fact that the circles don't stop at the edges of the balloon but continue into the head of the person. I'm glad that you found direction in terms of movement with respect to the circles. Before, though they seemed to be centered, they didn't create any sense of movement. The viewer's eye was not particularly inclined to follow the path. Now, if the viewer first sees the patch of earth, his or her eye will then wander over the person then trace out the path of the balloon. The movement in this work is really wonderful.

Wow.This is easily one of my favorite works on the gallery so far, great job! That white line that you have tried to keep common across all 4 compositions not only serves that effect, but the vertical position of the line also seems to be in accordance with the tone and beat of each of the 4 parts. Looking at the merged piece, I also like the way you merged the 4 pieces, while keeping the background white. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but it reminds me of the fact that score music is also placed on a white background, so I can see a definite analogy there.

Also, the colors that you have chosen for the background of each piece fit pretty well. You chose the perfect color for a misty calming effect you wanted in the first piece; in many games, that same color is used frequently for mist effects. The consequent color for storm as well could have been any number of dark colors. However, it was a good decision to go for a darker shade of blue, playing off the lighter shades you used for the first piece. It is also a similar color to how a tornado might look from a bird's eye view in a dark evening sky. Using pink for the 3rd piece was a nice touch, because dark blue and pink actually come out to a shade of purple I believe, which is the color of your 4th piece. So I can see a nice progression of color there as well as the appropriate emotions emerging from each piece.

Overall, there is a lot of depth to the final piece, yet the way you have manged to incorporate so many of the song's elements such as the melody, the violins and the brass into the compositions have made the final piece really representative of the song, so great work!

I think the changes you made integrated our feedback very well, and your final piece moves the eye in the direction that you intended exactly; great job incorporating that! I think that the ideas that you had were integrated really well in the final piece, and all of your representations are consistent. I really like that you also made the final destination of "home" a lot more noticeable, ethereal, and idealistic by adding the halo effect; it adds a lot of contrast and draws the eye well. Great job constructing your vision into a finalized piece!

This is a very well thought out outline for your project. Warhol's idea of repetition to represent the desensitization to devastation once we have been exposed to it over long periods of time flows very well with the idea of the progress of one's life. Your idea in incorporating both the positive and negative events that happened over time builds off of Warhol's Death and Disaster series and adds more of an individual touch to the piece. The kinds of colors and the pictures you choose will definitely be a key component of your project. I am looking forward to seeing the final piece! Good luck!

Actually seeing the most recent iteration here, I think it makes complete sense to take out the book, especially given the reasoning from the previous iteration. It makes sense that it would be too much with the fetus.
I really like the change on opacity, especially considering that the rest of the picture is fairly dark. The color already gives it a fairly strong contrast, and compared to the earlier one this is much more pleasant while still retaining that distinction. The use of the heart rate and connection to other fetuses is also incredibly well thought out. I also like the idea that the color is "feeding" the fetus to create its hues.
I am a little concerned about the opacity of the connected fetuses, as it took me a while to even notice they were there. On the other hand, that might be part of the effect, so I could definitely see leaving those as is. There's also a minor grammatical mistake on the curatorial statement (should say "it is >a< depiction of life" at the start), so it might bear further investigation. Otherwise though, I do like the way it encompasses the goals without getting bogged down in specifics.

This is a really cool piece! Maybe go into more detail about how you made it, but otherwise, I think you're in a good spot!

Thanks for your comments! Many of them made sense to me, and I'm definitely going to consider them in the final piece. I answered some of the questions that you've all had (hopefully) in the project documentation, so feel free to take a look and give your opinion once again!

I like that you are synthesizing this piece through your own perspective of how you visualize the sound, but also being informed by Kandisky's theories on color. I think the visual is simple and aesthetically pleasing.

I see how a forest collage in black and white fits the mood of this song, its kind of dark and melodic so a forest definitely fits that, its also in the name so that's something. The overlaying photo's could definitely be a cool effect, although I'm not really sure what you mean by a collage in a subtler style than Andy Warhol.

I agree with Judy, I think layering photos together could create a cool effect, and make the forest seem more hazy. I also think you could still incorporate some of Warhol's ideas by combining all your photos in a grid, where each subsequent photo is more layered than the one before it. That would mirror the song in a way, because you can see exactly how each photo gets progressively more complex, just like how you can hear the song getting progressively more complex.

It is very interesting to see how you visualize the sound. The colors of your piece really fit Aladdin. One question I have is that how do you decide the movement of all the circles. Do you follow the tempo or volume of the piece? How do you arrange the color in particular way? It will be great if you can explain all these things to viewers. Great idea!

I like your idea of using photographs that are similar for this piece. I'm a bit curious as to how you will compose them or arrange them together though. You mentioned that you wanted to do something a bit like Warhol's style - so are the pictures going to be juxtaposed in a grid? Since the song you said is the same verse repeated over but with an additional voice layered over it each time, perhaps consider layering your photos together with different opacities - it might give you the subtle and surreal feel you're going for since adding layers each time distorts the overall piece into something hazy

I do like the change to the idea of the fetus! However, I have to question why that fetus is a rainbow color? I only ask because the very bright colors stand out against the black background and my eyes keep getting drawn to it rather than to the pictures inside the womb which hold more significance. Also, since the child is initially innocent but as you said, has no control of the world he is being born into, what if you put the pictures outside the womb instead? That way the child is initially protected in the womb but all the pictures outside it would represent all the factors at play that will eventually influence and shape the child's life? With that said, I think that there is enough material in your 2nd prototype to be able to talk about but I understand how you want to keep that initial story book idea. I would either run with something along your 2nd prototype because I feel the final adds too much to the piece or find some way to integrate the womb and the storybook together in a more fluid way

I actually disagree, and think it's not necessary to use color. You can achieve some really powerful mood/atmosphere using contrast. More contrast (black and white) gives a sharp feeling, which can relate "harsher" emotions, while less contrast (dark grey and light grey) would give off softer emotions. I think this could work out well.

Wow, I think that sounds like a very clear way to condense down your original. I think those panels will give a clear idea of loss, and leave the viewers to draw their own conclusions about what happens in between the frames. I can't wait to see it! I think it would be interesting to consider the empty/fullness that possible in each frame, for example, the first frame when its warm and in the cabin would be closer to the brothers, with lots of household clutter and blankets, vs the last frame, where the view might be farther out with the brother the only object in the frame besides the sky. It might help create that feeling of loss. Just something to consider. Can't wait to see the finished product!

I think I'm going to condense it to a triptych. The center panel would be shades of gray, featuring the haloed sick brother with winter trees to either side and a snowy landscape. I might do something with the footprints at the bottom of that one. The left side would be warm orange and brown: the firelit cabin scene, probably with the two brothers in bed. The right side would be mostly blue, with the younger brother standing against the sky in the morning.

I think you chose a much longer and more complex piece than most of us, so props for that. It's going to be challenging to condense it all to one visual composition, but you've got a great start. I would repeat the call for unity between the pieces, though I think I can see the fluid white line serving that purpose. It would also help if either the colors or the shapes stayed relatively consistent between the four--although the piece is varied, I don't think each section is so dramatically different as to warrant the complete transformation between panels. Maybe listen to some other music and try to think of how you would represent it differently in order to get an idea of what characterizes the whole piece? I particularly think the bright red in the last panel might be a bit too extreme, but used differently it might fit.

I love that you're aiming for the "sense of grandeur," because that's definitely what I get from the song too and I think a stormy/starry sky is a great way to convey that visually. Having distant, blue stars in a deep blue sky is certainly evocative of the calmer part of the song, but for me, the clouds you've made so far don't quite capture the dramatic "storminess" of the rest of it. These look like peaceful night skies with a few wispy clouds. The strong, quick beat and rolling drums seem to evoke clouds more like those you might find over Mt. Doom (to stay with the LotR inspiration): http://students.english.ilstu.edu/rwohara/creation/mordor.jpg

Perhaps using some angry red light like that rather than just "cool" colors, as well as making the clouds more like ominous thunderheads or clouds of volcanic ash. I am really impressed with the results you're getting, though! I feel like I'm looking at a photograph of the sky.

For me the TV's do seem a bit too cliche, and I feel like the second composition without them had a bit more weight to me. I think if you could find a subtler way to represent technology, then that would greatly add to the power of the piece.

I definitely agree with your choice of a washed-out-water look in terms of coloring. That color is reminiscent of the glow that electronic screens give off, and also brings a more somber tone to the piece.

Also I'm not sure if you wanted to go down this path at all, but I one thing that I find interesting about the electronic movement is how infectious it is. After looking through your drafts I thought that if you wanted to you could also show the neglect of the smaller body leading it to turn to electronics as well, creating a cycle.

I'm looking forward to seeing the final piece, and how the color adds to it!

I really like your concept, and the composition is visually compelling. I wonder if maybe you shifted your colors to be a bit less dark, it would be slightly closer to the intention of the song? The song is about such bright, new, openness, which to me doesn't suggest the navy and black that is so prevalent in your composition. I understand the desire to not be too cartoonish in your colors, but the dark blue range just doens't seem quite right. Overall, I really like this piece, though!

Thanks for the feedback! I definitely am planning to use a mixture of slow and fast shutter speeds to try and capture the motion. When I was looking for stock images of the dance form, I realized that a lot of them are focused on showing static poses, which are impressive but not what I'm after, so I had to just pick one for now. I definitely want both the dancers and the space, because they are both important elements. The space is interesting in that it is unique, but I don't think there are any features significant enough to completely distract from the dancers. I will have to be careful to find the right spacing and depth for the image, for sure, though!

This is really neat! The colors and circles really capture the mood of the scene from Up, and I like the elegance in its simplicity.

While I'm not in the visual module, I do have some suggestions/ideas. I'm not sure if you want to leave the circles enclosed in the yellow balloon, but one thing that might be interesting is having the circles expand further outward into a blue sky (in other words, instead of a yellow oval, the yellow opens up like a V). Alternatively, if you increase the canvas size and placed the image off-center, you could add a sense of smallness (but this depends on your intentions).

I'm a little uncertain what the bottom of the yellow oval is (a tree trunk?) and it's slightly out of place in color and location, but maybe that's the intent (bridging the color and the black and white). Other than that, I really like the rest of the piece-- the silhouette and the details in the grass and rock. Good work!

I really like your iteration and the way you talked through your thought process. I think that your final version pictured here is definitely closest to conveying your ideas, but the TV piece is still somewhat cliche. I wonder if you could shift the figure slightly and use phones instead? There is something deeply isolating about being in a room full of people on the phone, and it seems like that feeling is what you are after.

The point about the eye being drawn upwards than downwards is very valid, but then I think that is something that can very easily be changed using a slightly different color palette and varying the thicknesses of your lines a little more. I think the fact that your line weights are all equal is something that could easily be changed and help affect the composition of your entire piece. Another thing that may help you is perhaps using a juxtaposition of order and chaos on the top and bottom to help you create the effect you want. The shapes above the lines would be an ideal place to do this, and you have many levers available to you to do this, the coloring of the multiple shapes, perhaps a smooth, logical gradient from cold to warm for order, or all over the spectrum and having many darker colors for chaos. ordering and consistency of shapes is also a factor.

I think the transition from the first prototype to the second makes sense, but I kind of liked the idea that there was a "book of the world" from which the experience stemmed. The idea that the individual is the recipient of all of a vast and incomprehensible life is not incompatible with your previous idea - that vastness could be represented as a larger book than the objects. Maybe look into a connection between the two, where there is a vast book filled with picture of children that all experience just a small part of the world? Just a thought.

I like the expression that went into your second image though. The way of representing the good and the bad as just part of life makes a lot of sense. The song has its uplifting parts as well as its contemplative parts. Be sure that, however you choose to proceed, you give both their due!

I definitely think you should go for the color approach. The examples you listed looked really good and conveyed a lot even with the minimalistic approach. Color can be used to show the mood, atmosphere, and depths. And in your case with the cinderella song, trying it out definitely would create a more engaging piece. As for the progression and the composition, you should try to recreate a detailed series of maybe on particular move that you found engaging instead of say the whole dance.

I agree with both Amanda and Laura about the eye inadvertently being drawn downward, rather than upward, due to the motion of the squiggles in the background. I also think the light lines appearing both under and above the stable platforms cancel each other out, so it does not make the platforms appear as though they are moving upward like you wanted them to. I think that if you got rid of the light lines above the platforms and added a few more lines under them that slowly got lighter, it would create more of an upwards motion. But I think the shapes that you chose to employ are really great and your idea behind how to represent the song is really strong. If you could just make the movement upwards more apparent, the piece would be really strong.

I agree that a rich visual piece should accompany this song. I also think that the idea of a young child matches the theme better. I understand that you have something surrounding it to represent a womb, but do you have a reason for making it a rainbow? Great work so far!

I love the premise for this project. I think the most important part is playing with the idea of repetition to make what might otherwise be considered critical and devastating into something mundane and everyday. The urban-overload hypothesis explains that our brains change when living in big cities--it takes more to distract us because we've gotten used to a massive input of stimuli. In a similar way, it takes more to disturb us when it comes to massacres, catastrophes, etc because we've gotten used to seeing these things on the news. To many of us, these terrors have become mundane and "every-day." I think it plays well with the overall theme of "how far we've come" so it's important to include!

I like the thoughts that went into this piece, but I agree with Laura that the eye is being drawn down, not up as you wanted. Because the circles were so large and dark, the eye is being drawn there first and is being pulled down, the opposite way that you wanted. I think part of the reason for this is that in your background, the bottom half is made up of darker colors than the top half, so the eye is drawn down, and because the squiggles are horizontal, the eye stays down at the bottom instead of being drawn back up. I think you could try changing the direction of the squiggles in the background to be more diagonal towards the top-right, and to make the color gradient follow that pattern as well, in order to try to draw the eye in the intended direction.

This song obviously has a very strong emotional impact, and I think its really great that you could flesh out an entire detailed narrative based on it. I agree with Rikky, I feel that one image might be all you can realistically do in the time we have, but I'm sure when you translate all of your narrative points into visual elements they could be very powerful. Can you give us more detail about the colors or shapes you will be using?

Your pieces are great, and I think their overall mood matches the overall tone of the song. It would be nice to have an added emphasis on an element that represents the very recognizable chorus. I liked the layers to your piece and think they could be used compositionally to connect more with the piece as you developed your concept more fully. Really cool so far though! Awesome song choice.

I think this is great. I listened to the song while following your story and I really felt the emotions. I wish you had time to actually create the video, and I encourage you to actually film this sometime in the future! I like the idea of a short comic, and you can basically make it a slideshow that goes with the music (like a storyboard for what the video could have been without the time constraint). Good luck!

I really like the photos you put up, but, as of now, I don't really see how they connect. I'm not in your module, so I can't give as much helpful feedback as I would like to, but I can't wait to see the final product.

I love this song! It doesn't hurt that Requiem for a Dream is one of my favorite movies. These clouds look really cool, and as initial compositions I think you did a really good job. Definitely keep experimenting, I think you can come up with something awesome. I've never used Terragen before, but if there's a way to animate the clouds in sync with the song, that would be amazing - no pressure though!

I really like each piece individually, although you are right in that it is hard to connect each piece to a common story-line. But after hearing the 4 parts of the overture, I think that it is really only the second half of the second piece (storm) and the 4th piece (the finale) which have elements in common. The other pieces are actually quite distinct from each other as well, each depicting a different emotion so it actually makes sense for your first 3 pieces to be quite distinct as well, as long as they are able to evoke the same emotions in the same order. But your 4th piece might want to have some common connecting thread to the 2nd piece, just because the songs themselves have the commonality.

Sorry about that Rikky, I put my updated photos up. I'm making the photos separately and then merging them into a collage. I think that will help me convey the four different personalities of the piece better. I am a little afraid that my pieces will be so different though, I should add some sort of common connecting thread. Do you think that should be added so that it is obvious this is one storyline?

I like the effect that you're creating with these clouds, but I feel like the composition is lacking a defined subject. I can't really tell if there's a separate foreground and background. If the light is supposed to be the distinguishing feature, I think it should stand out more in the piece, instead of being mostly obscured by the clouds.

So I can't really remember how your two initial photos used to look like, I think you took them down. So i'll just ask a few questions about your project since I didn't get to see it in class. Are you planning on making the 4 different compositions separately, and then simply merging them into 1 photo as a collage? Or are you going to do just 1 composition but effectively split it up into 4 distinct areas on the canvas to signify each section.

I really like your minimalist approach to this song! I think this song has a very simple message that is very relatable, and I definitely think too many elements would take away from the message. From your description, I get the feeling that you want to put together a horizontal composition consisting of multiple images. I am wondering how many images do you think you will have? I think if you have too many images placed in sequence, the length of the composition might become too distracting for the viewers to grasp the overall meaning. For the background of your composition, I think it would be interesting if you can represent the life of the daughter from simple to complex or the feelings of the father as the daughter grows up. For example, maybe working with more colors near the end of the composition while keeping the foreground simple might create an interesting contrast.

I definitely think you're on the right track here. I would say subtle variation in the photographs would definitely help, as even though the verses all have the same lyrics, each one sounds different. One thing to consider is that it seems like duration is played with in the song to create a bit of unease. Maybe you could try to use exposure to complement this idea in your photographs.

I really like your movie narrative, pretty much spot on what I would expect of a music video from that song. The thing about this song is the narrative. Rather than having a memorable beat or tune, it encases a touching narrative into its body and that is what sets it apart from others and it looks like that is the part of the song you want to showcase in your composition. However, I think it might be best if you go for one elaborate image of the song rather than making a comic strip to show the story. I'm not sure how detailed the comic would be but a narrative like this one deserves a level of complexity that might be hard-pressed for you to draw out in just the next few days.

Having 1 image to represent this narrative seems like a better fit to me because that is what narratives usually have. Whether in novel form, or films, or games, they usually have a cover photo, representative of the content and narrative inside it. So having a sort of cover photo for this song is a good idea. Your idea for that 1 photo actually seems like a good fit. It teases you enough about the narrative but doesn't give away too much. So subject matter-wise, you have it down. At this point, you are going to want to think about how to draw them to evoke the exact feelings you want. What sort of shapes, elements and techniques that we have used thus far in the class would best bring them out?

I really like this piece. I'm not in your class so I can't comment on what was discussed about the piece, but I think your work is nice.

My eye was first drawn to the shadow rather than the balloon. This is as expected, because the black offers a stark contrast to the background but the pastels are more muted and do not attract attention immediately. Also, honestly, the silhouette just looked really cool :) I think the transition between dark and light could made more smooth somehow, but I do like the tree being colored. Maybe the gradient could be adjusted to make a larger percentage of the tree stump black. This makes the transition less jarring.

The arrangement of the circles seems largely centered, but spreading them out throughout the yellow balloon outline may serve to make the piece feel slightly more full.

Overall, I love the concept, the contrast between the crisp and rounded lines, and the balance between positive and negative space. Nice job!

You really thought through a lot of the details of this, and I look forward to seeing the pictures that you come up with. Some things to think about/ keep in mind before you begin photographing:

-It seems like a very interesting space to work in. You might have to decide early on if you want the focus of the piece to be a balance of the space and the poses (especially since you talked about how the religious characteristic of the song's space added a new layer of interpretation), or if you want to keep all of the focus on the movement and the poses. Either one could work well as long as this is clear, and you make choices when setting up the shoot that reflect that- for example, if you wanted to focus on the pose, you wouldn't want a spot in the background to accidentally distract and detract from that.

-Also, the image that you uploaded to show the pose is a pose frozen in space. I was wondering if you wanted to show the pose like this (even though I know that you don't plan on using the same techniques) or if you plan on showing more movement with the pose. If you do plan on showing the choreography in motion, using a slow shutter speed could give a blurred/fuzzy image that will definitely give the ethereal feeling that you are going for.

Look forward to seeing the picture- it sounds like a really cool idea!

I really like the overall image, and the feeling of moving upward and hope that you feel describe the song. However I do agree with remarks made in class that some improvements could be made by experimenting with elongating the image vertically, and moving the circles around to create even more of an effect of upward movement (much as Kandinsky simulated movement using placement of circles and color in "Several Circles"). Have you thought about placing the circles in a more scattered way, but still close enough to each other to affect balance and tension between them, as opposed to being clumped together? I'm not sure how that would look, but it's an idea to experiment with! In addition, trying to make the transition from very dark to pastel colors more gradual may be something to think about, though I do like the shadowy feeling toward the bottom.

All in all, you have a great start-- I like the graphic a great deal, and already I feel the upward pull because of the weight of the bright circles. I'm looking forward to seeing the final outcome!

I really love the background and the colors in it, but to go off of what Daragh said in class about incorporating the foreground and background, I think it might help to change the direction of the 'flowey' stuff in the background. Since you are trying to lead the viewer up, I think it might help to make the eye go from the bottom left to the top right in an upwards direction matching the foreground lines. Right now, since they are going from the top left to the bottom right, I think it might be drawing the eye down. Just something you could experiment with to see if it helped achieve what you are looking for.